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Have you ever heard the saying … ‘what you resist persists’?
I mean, could it really be true that, in your daughter’s attempt to push away all those unwanted things, she only attracts more unwanted things?
The father of analytical psychology, Carl Jung, suggests that in your attempt to ‘resist’ certain situations, by focusing on what you don’t want, you actually cause those unwanted things to persist, or even grow.
Welcome back the Cultivating Resilient Teens podcast where I want to invite you and your daughter to try a quick brain game with me.
You can close your eyes, or simply use your mind’s eye to visualize something you desire … a giant scoop of ice cream, a beautiful sunset, or a fun event with friends.
Now, DON’T imagine a giant pink elephant.
Okay … did a giant pink elephant just photo bomb your image?
This is just one small example of the power your daughter has over her mind.
And why two key concepts play a huge role in her ability to build confidence, integrity and resilience for all of life’s adventures.
Thoughts about Thoughts
The first key concept is Metacognition.
I don’t know about you, but I didn’t learn about the importance of ‘thinking about my thinking’ until my late 20’s when I was in graduate school.
Thinking about your thinking may seem like a simple concept, but if your daughter really reflects on the impact her beliefs have over her happiness, her mood and her motivation … she may be surprised.
I pose the question …is it possible for your daughter to solve her problems with the same thinking she used when she created them?
The conversations that have resulted from that episode are awesome because they’ve really opened the door to the second key concept: developing a strong sense of self.
What does it mean to develop a strong sense of self?
It means understanding your daughter’s unique, internal operating system.
And discovering how to take inspired action that really works for her.
The coolest part is when your daughter takes inspired actions that are consistent with her integrity, she naturally cultivates her resilience.
The Great Collaboration
Although the jury may still be out regarding how long it actually takes to create lasting change, one thing I know for sure, because I see it happen all the time with the clients enrolled in my 90 Days to a More Resilient Teen Coaching Program, is that when you consistently create an environment where your daughter feels a sense of personal power and influence over her life, her resiliency muscle grows.
So, let’s set her off the right direction by embracing who she is, right here – right now.
I’d like to encourage your daughter to complete these four self-perceptive statements because they drive her energy towards curiosity, growth and all those interesting, wanted experiences.
Okay, are you ready to write them down?
- A personal dream I’m ready to start creating is _______________
- Some new opportunities I want to explore are ____________
- I am so excited now that I am able to __________________
- If I need help or encouragement to get things going, I will connect with _________
Unleash the Power
Now, go ahead and read the thoughts you wrote down.
Are you able to see that by using the power of intentional focus, you fully engage your mind and put your energy towards dream creation?
I think dream creation is way more fun than getting caught in the ‘resistance – persistence’ loop!
Okay my friends, thanks for spending time with me today.
If you’re listening on the iTunes podcast app, please take a moment to leave a review.
And lastly, if your daughter is looking for a way to practice the power of focus, she may enjoy podcast Episode #11 Help Your Daughter Stay Focused in a World Full of Distractions with a 3 Step Solution
Until next time my friends, here’s to cultivating a more resilient teen.