Ep – 42 Calm in the Storm: 3 Steps to Ease Your Daughter’s Exam Anxiety

Show Notes

Intro: Parenting teenagers is no small feat, but being a parent during final exams is akin to stepping into the realm of unsung heroes. I remember thinking that I could write my final psych paper while also listening to Prince’s new album, Purple Rain. I also remember my mom walking into my room, shaking her head, and telling me this approach wasn’t going to work.

Unfortunately, my lack of self-awareness at the time left me sitting with a blank sheet of paper for the better half of my Sunday afternoon until I finally turned off the tape and got to work. But hey, I memorized all the lyrics – that counts for something, right?

Anyway, the funny, not funny thing is the real issue, what was ACTUALLY keeping me from writing my paper, which was never addressed.

The focus was only on time management. And while time management is important, there’s something more important because it’s probably keeping your daughter from doing what she needs to do too.

A crucial skill she hasn’t learned – yet.

So, in today’s episode, we’re going to address that crucial skill – mind management. We’re going to dive into 3 Stress-Busting Steps that will prime your daughter’s mind so she can maximize her mind and her time.

You’ll find the full episode and more resources for parenting your teenage daughter at https://cultivatingresilientteens.com/podcast/

Hey Parents,

It’s that time of year, time for final exams. And, you know what that means…your daughter’s stress and anxiety vibe is gearing up. Because when her external environment is full of big expectations, your daughter’s internal environment is going to respond.

And when your daughter’s external pressure collides with her internal pressure, it’s a recipe for avoidance, overwhelm or shut down mode.

Get Out of Your Head

My mom used to call this analysis-paralysis. My 90 Days to a More Resilient Teen Coaching Program clients call this this ‘being stuck in their head.’ Either way, if you think about what happens when your mind overthinks and rethinks and continues to replay the issue over and over without an effective solution or strategy like The Entrance Strategy, you’re naturally going to feel exhausted and emotionally paralyzed.

That’s why today’s goal is to equip your daughter with the tools she needs to see that facing her big goals and challenges is what creates personal growth, resilience, and confidence. And offer her an opportunity to SEE and experience her amazing, true potential.

Solution-Focused versus Problem-Focused

As a big feeler I spent a lot of time in analysis paralysis, especially when it came to writing research papers. And unfortunately, my repetitive thought patterns also kept me stuck in a problem-focused mindset, rather than a growth or solution-focused mindset.

I wish it hadn’t taken me so long to recognize that a crucial element to success, mind management, was missing – and keeping me from seeing and experiencing my potential. But it wasn’t talked about and seems to be overlooked even now.

The Art of Mind Management

As Jim Kwik, the Author of Limitless reminds us, learning is state dependent. Meaning, the state of mind your daughter is in will directly impact her ability to learn.

And while time management is an important skill to learn, it’s worth noting that your daughter will be far more productive with her time when she has a handle on her mind – her thoughts and her feelings about the task at hand.

That’s where the 3 Stress-Busting Steps come in. Let’s teach your daughter how to manage her mind during finals season so she can transform the way she approaches studying. It’s not about perfectionism, it’s about being better, better than she was yesterday.

3 Stress-Busting Steps to Manage Your Daughter’s Mind During Final Exam Season

Step 1: Allow

Feel the feels. Stress is a sensation, let it be present for a moment or two.

Rather than trying to fight it, just let it be, and recognize that the emotion is activating something inside you.

You can liken this to eating hot sauce or wasabi. It’s really intense for a moment and then it dissipates.

Step 2: Investigate

Do a body check. Where’s the intense sensation showing up in your body?

My clients tell me their heart rate speeds up, their palms sweat, and they feel like they have butterflies in their stomach. For me, I get a foggy head and static in my ears.

Step 3: Nurture

Talk to your big feelings like you’d talk to someone you love.

Place your hands over your heart and with a calm, compassionate voice, remind your nervous system that you can and will move through this emotion.

The words you use when you’re talking to and about yourself are the most important words you’ll ever hear. Choose them wisely.

Two Minutes to Inner Peace

Let’s pull this all together because it just takes a few minutes 1. Allow 2. Investigate 3. Nurture.

This process will validate your daughter’s feelings while also giving her an opportunity to activate her solution-focused mindset. A mindset that will serve her for years to come.

Okay, my friends, until next time. Here’s to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life’s adventures.

Episode Links:

Ep – 41 The 3 Main Issues That Cause Social Anxiety and How to ‘Grow Through’ These Challenges

Jim Kwik Limitless Book at https://www.jimkwik.com/