How to Help Your Daughter Make New Friends

Is your daughter ready to make some new friends … those real friendships that feel safe and deeply connected?

She’s not alone.

The hard part is … everyone wants to be the one ASKED to join the group, but no one wants to do the asking.

My clients are telling me how hard it is to take that first step and ask that fun-science-class-buddy if she can sit with her at lunch or do something outside of school.

I get it!

I had that “oh my, who am I going to sit with at lunch” moment this summer at a conference I attended – solo.

The irony in this is it takes emotional risk and emotional labor to create the lasting relationships your daughter craves.

So, how can she embrace this uneasy feeling that comes with uncertainty?

This is where you come in.

It’s important for you to send the signal to your daughter that you believe in her ability to make things happen.

The next time you hear her talk about a new friend or social scenario, invite her to flex that resiliency muscle by asking those key “WHAT …?” questions:

  1. What would you like to happen at lunchtime?
  2. What’s the best way to get to know ‘Susie’ better?
  3. What’s one specific thing you can do today to let ‘Susie’ know you’d like to hang out?
  4. What if you ask ‘Susie’ to have lunch and she says, “yes!”
  5. What can I do to support you in this situation?

Remember, it’s not about finding a solution to her problem – it’s about encouraging your daughter to get curious and think about all her options.

It’s okay if the whole experience feels awkward.

The best relationships are usually built on honesty and vulnerability.

We’ve all been there.

Why not encourage your daughter to start things off right?

Would you be interested in sharing a situation where you felt awkward and things turned out okay?

We’re stronger together!

If this feels totally out of your wheelhouse or your daughter isn’t talking to you, but you can tell something’s going on, I can help.

Let’s talk and figure out how we can build up your connection with your daughter so she’ll talk to you AND give her some tools and strategies RIGHT NOW to get those friendships going.

Here’s what you need to do, set up a Discovery Session today.

It’s free and let’s you know if we’re a good fit.

Seeing your daughter’s face light up when she comes home after school will make your heart happy too, I promise.


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Posted in: Healthy Social Scenarios for Teens