What’s the relationship between your daughter and her pesky inner critic?
You know that voice that over-thinks everything and buddies up with another toxic habit that sounds like …
- “I should get this assignment done but I just don’t feel like it.”
- “I know I should try to make the best of my time at home, but I miss my friends, my classes, my teachers.”
When your daughter ‘shoulds’ all over herself, it’s rattles her rational decision making skills.
Unfortunately, because she’s disconnected from the people and places that feed her individuality and personal growth – it’s happening more often.
The good news is she can learn to collaborate with her inner critic and get her mojo back.
Here’s How You Can Help
As a parent, it’s hard to see your daughter struggle.
But dismissing her big emotions may cause her to question herself even more.
Try this 3 Step Process instead:
Name her emotions.
Identify the 3 biggest emotions that fuel her inner critic.
Scale them from 1 – 10 (heaviest)
Acknowledge the role her emotions are playing in her day to day life.
How are they affecting her mood and motivation?
Step Three (the Magical moment she takes her control back)
Lovingly talk to those big emotions.
It may feel silly at first and that’s okay.
Go ahead, ask them a couple questions:
“Hey anxiety, I see that you’re back today … what are you all about?
“Oh hello lack of motivation … what are you trying to teach me?”
Now, offer a new answer:
“I hear you inner critic and I’m going to choose to approach this situation differently today.”
“Thanks for looking out for me anxiety, but I’m going to look at my life with a different lens.”
“Even if you whisper in my ear, I’m going to believe this situation can work out for me.”
“Your input has been noted, thank you, now I’m going to choose a balanced, realistic thought.”
Your Pep Talk to Keep Going
In case your inner critic isn’t on board with your new way of thinking and turns up the volume to keep you safe from moving forward, consider what Author Liz Gilbert has to say in her book Big Magic, Creative Living Beyond Fear.
“Your fear will always be triggered by your creativity, because creativity asks you to enter into realms of uncertain outcome, and fear hates uncertain outcome.”
“This is all totally natural and human.”
It’s Not Your Daughter’s Fault
If you see your daughter working really hard, but still focused on what’s going wrong for her, she’s in luck.
“Helping Teens Find Peace in a World Filled with Uncertainty” introduces her to a different way of thinking that’ll outsmart the forces that may be holding her back.
Here’s to Brighter Days Ahead
Go ahead and quiet her inner critic from the inside out, by recognizing your human brain is having a normal reaction.
Clarity comes from asking – and answering – a few simple questions.
And if your daughter is like my clients, she’ll feel energized by her results.
Remember to keep your process easy and consistant says James Clear, Author of Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones.
“All big things come from small beginnings. The seed of every habit is a single, tiny decision. But as that decision is repeated, a habit sprouts and grows.”
If your teenage daughter your ready to go from “Ugh” to “I got this,” lets talk.
Grab a Discovery Session today.