Ep – 51 Are You Overlooking Your Daughter’s Greatest Power? Discover the 90-Second Shift That’ll Change Everything

Show Notes

Does your teenage daughter ever feel like she just can’t catch a break?

When life’s challenging events stack up, it’s almost impossible to ‘look on the bright side’ and offering a bit of optimism just feels dismissive.

We’ve all had those Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day – kinds of days.

But bad days are going to happen.

Instead of letting them ruin everything, you’re going to learn a simple 90-Second shift that can change everything.

Intro

Hey Parents, welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast.

I’m your host, Shawna Warner. And as always, it’s an honor to spend this time together.

Let’s dive in.

When your daughter’s life feels heavy, she tends to handle big emotions like anxiety, disappointment, and rejection in one of three ways:

• She’ll bury it.
• She’ll catastrophize it.
• Or she’ll drown in it.

The hard part is none of these approaches move your daughter through her emotions.

But here’s what all teenage girls don’t know…

Emotions are like waves.

And waves have three stages – they rise, crest, and dissipate.

Why This is Happening

Often times big emotions can feel like they are too much, especially if they’re stacking up, one after the other.

Because one of the primary jobs of the brain is to scan for potential threats.

And culturally, you’re often taught to focus on what went wrong and why.

Over time, that reinforces the belief that life is just happening to you and there isn’t much you can do about it.

What Your Daughter May Be Missing

So, let’s consider a different angle.

Chances are, if your daughter is ruminating over the question “Why is this (always) happening to ME?”

She’s overlooking her power.

Not the power to control what happened – but the power to influence what happens next.

As Viktor Frankl teaches us in Man’s Search for Meaning, between what happens and how we respond, there is a space – and in that space is a choice.

You don’t always get to choose your circumstances – but your daughter does have the power to choose curiosity and ask herself a more enlightening, empowering question.

So instead of asking “why is this happening to me?” try asking: “Is there anything I might be overlooking in this situation right now?”

Because…

Feelings are powerful but they are not in charge.

The power is knowing that you can ride the wave.

The 90-Second Shift Exercise

And all it takes is about 90 seconds.

And this – this is where everything has the opportunity to shift.

So, the next time your daughter’s life feels heavy, try this:

• Set a timer for 90 seconds.
• Place one hand on your heart and one hand on your belly.
• Breathe slowly.
• Notice where you feel the heaviness in your body.
• Don’t analyze it. Just breathe with it.

And if your thoughts pull you away, gently say “Shhh, I’m breathing” and return to your cycle of breath.

WHAT CHANGES

When your daughter practices this, something subtle but powerful shifts.

She’ll fear her emotions less.

She’ll recognize that she can survive them.

And best of all, she’ll discover the feeling isn’t in charge – she is.

And she’ll learn to trust her ability to ride the wave.

The Wrap Up

So, the next time your daughter has a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day – kind of days.

Try sitting and breathing with her.

Because it’s not about avoiding or preventing the hard stuff.

It’s about showing your daughter that she can handle it – 90 seconds at a time.

Until next time, here’s to raising teenage girls who know their power doesn’t disappear when life gets hard.

Because that’s where confidence, integrity, and resilience are born.

END

Key Links:

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst

Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl