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Welcome back to episode #15
This final podcast for 2020 … is dedicated to each and every one of you!
Not only have you navigated a plethora of disappointments and detours, but you’ve tapped into your resiliency muscle in more ways than you probably realize.
Though, you did it – you made it!
And before we dive into today’s episode, I’d like to invite you to take a moment and give yourself credit for all you’ve done this year.
It’s so easy to get busy and focus on what’s next.
So seriously, take a moment, right now, and honor the amazing parent you are.
Okay, here we go …
Does your teenage daughter feel like life is just happening TO her?
If she’s super spunky one minute and grouchy and grumbling the next, she may be riding this wild roller coaster.
So today we’re going to offer you and your daughter, what I affectionately call the Mood Maintenance Toolkit.
Because if your daughter is constantly responding with a fiery, knee-jerk reaction – especially in messy situations – you’ll want to guide her away from this habit.
As parents, you’re probably well aware of how hard it is to know what to say because by the time you’ve come up with a thoughtful response, well, the situation’s already swinging in another direction.
Here’s an example parents have shared with me, that may sound familiar to you …
- When my daughter gets a lot of likes, compliments, or invites – her mood is awesome – she’s playful and lighthearted.
- And then when someone doesn’t respond the way she hoped they would, if she’s not tagged in a post, or if she feels left out of a gathering – her mood is dreadful and she’s suddenly depressed and unresponsive to me.
Ah, as humans it’s a natural response to feel great when someone praises you.
And, on the flip side, it’s natural to feel disappointed and hurt when you don’t feel seen and heard.
The hard part is, although the highs may be exhilarating in the moment, the downs instantly zap your daughter’s mood, wreck her motivation and leave her totally exhausted.
And, I don’t know about you, but my clients tell me they’re sick of riding the emotional rollercoaster – especially when it comes to social media.
So, if your daughter is like most teenagers, not only does the rollercoaster ride make her feel like she’s lost all control, but it can also lead to behaviors and responses that your daughter will later regret.
The Mood Maintenance Toolkit
So, let’s equip your daughter with the Mood Maintenance Kit.
Because when she’s able to maintain her mood and motivation – she’ll go from ‘meh’ to ‘heck ya’!
The Kit contains:
1 Key Word
And it taps into the benefits social and emotional intelligence – giving your daughter the power to respond in a way that feels good and motivates her!
If you haven’t yet listened to Podcast Ep #2 How to Raise a Socially Intelligent and Resilient Teenager, you may want to listen after you’ve finished this one.
Because as you know, creating solid social connections IS the name of the game for teenage girls and episode #2 talks about the 5 key components of social and emotional intelligence and why they play a big role in relationships, based on the research of Daniel Goleman, one of the leaders in the SEI field.
Okay, you may want to grab a pen and piece of paper to write down what’s in the Mood Maintenance Kit.
Or if you’re out and about, you can always go to my website cultivatingresilientteens.com, episode #15 to see the full show notes.
The first thing you’ll want your daughter to do is write down these 3 Questions when she needs clarity for a for situation she’s contemplating or event that’s important to her.
- What do I want?
- Who am I doing this for?
- And how does this make me feel?
Next, have her write down these 2 Mantra’s: (preferably, somewhere visible!)
- We Can Do Hard Things
- I Have What It Takes to Figure This Out
- Or as Marie Forleo says, “Everything is Figureoutable”
Lastly, define what this One Key Word means to you:
Because, when your daughter takes the time to …
- Be honest about who she is making decisions for – and why
- Recognize that she has a strong resiliency muscle inside her
- And when she truly EMBRACES her progress (and not someone else’s)
She’ll begin to SEE that life IS happening FOR her.
Yes, she may still get excited about an invite or lots of compliments or likes.
Though, she’ll also know how to mindfully and thoughtfully respond to life’s ups and downs in a way that feels good because it’s consistent with who she is.
Now, if you want to make sure you got everything from the Mood Maintenance Kit, you can head over to my website and find the show notes … cultivatingresilientteens.com/podcast – Ep 15.
And, while you’re there, you may want to take the quick quiz:
Because next month we’re going to break down the 4 key steps to cultivating a more resilient teen.
That covers my Signature Coaching System, where we look at
- Your daughter’s sense of self
- Her social scenarios
- Educational experiences
- And family life
And, if you’ve already taken to the quiz, you’ll be clear on
- where your daughter’s thriving
- and where she may need some support
Because honestly, it’s easier to know what to do, when you know where to start.
Okay my friends, that’s it for today.
Here’s to wrapping up 2020 and welcoming in 2021.
I’m excited to talk with you next year!
Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman
Everything if Figureoutable by Marie Forleo