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Does your teenage daughter have a plan to stay confident and mentally clear when she’s emotionally triggered?
After making a very long list on a giant piece of paper, the teenage girls in my social media group just sat back with that deer-in-headlights look.
I think they were more stunned than I was at the list they’d created.
The task was to identify all the all the “parts” of social media they deal with on a daily basis.
What confuses them.
What makes them feel bad.
And, what’s fun, too.
We definitely didn’t want to forget about the fun stuff, because being able to instantly connect with your friends can be great.
And seeing each other on the map is pretty cool, too.
Well, except when it’s not.
Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast.
Having a Plan
Where today we’re going to offer your daughter a 3 Step Road Map to navigate the ups and downs of her media relationships so she can keep a strong sense of self and continue to design healthy social scenarios.
Because as parents, you know, it’s a rough ride for everyone when your daughter:
- discovers her tribe has assembled without her
- or someone she’s reached out to is active but not responding
We obviously didn’t have these devices when you and I were teens.
Though, that deep gut punching feeling you get when you’ve been betrayed by someone in your tribe hasn’t changed.
And having the ability to manage all those big emotions doesn’t just magically happen.
So, let’s give your daughter a step-by-step plan so she can interact on her social platforms while maintaining a strong sense of self and designing healthy social scenarios.
3 Step Road Map
Step 1 Breathe
Yes, it may sound simple but when feel like you’re totally losing it, you want to keep your logical thinking mind, your frontal lobe, active and on-line.
And you need oxygen to make decisions that feel good now and later.
Step 2 Check In
Before you do anything, and while you’re still breathing in and breathing out, check in with yourself.
Ask this simple question, “what do I need right now?”
Step 3 Enroll a Trusted Advisor
This is a critical step because you’ll want to enlist someone you know has your back.
Chances are your mind will be reeling, though, identifying what you need and then sharing it with a trusted advisor that will help guide you toward that “thing” will help you regain control.
Do This, Not That
We’ve all been there, so once the dust settles, use this opportunity to lovingly remind your daughter that she’ll feel more confident if she has a plan.
And it’s far more empowering to put her time and energy into building her personal toolbox than it is to coerce people to act a certain way.
As you know, we all deal with emotional and social stress differently, so remember, it’s not helpful or effective to beat yourself up for feeling bad – so don’t do it!
DO follow the 3 Steps.
A give yourself a dose of patience and grace.
DON’T grab your phone and broadcast your experience to the world.
That’ll only create an unwanted mess you’ll regret.
Her Well-Being Matters
Because your daughter literally has the world at her fingertips, developing a strong sense of self and designing healthy social scenarios is pretty different than what you and I experienced.
Although it’s not always easy to measure your daughter’s wellbeing, so the the best way to get a sense for how she’s doing is to observe her overall mood and motivation.
And, if you’re not sure what’s going on, ask for help.
You are role modeling every day for your daughter, and as Oprah reminds us, “You get in life what you have the courage to ask for.”
So if you need a plan and roadmap specifically designed to set your daughter up for success, take a look at my 90 Days to a More Resilient Teen Coaching Program.
I will be opening up a spot for in-person coaching next week.
Just head over to my website cultivatingresilientteens.com
You’ll also find the full show notes for this podcast.
Until next time, here’s to the power of having a plan!
Quote from Oprah “You get in life what you have the courage to ask for.”