How Many ‘Strategies’ does your Teenage Daughter Need to Feel this Good … How about 2?

When’s the last time you felt a jolt of excitement run through your veins?

Sometimes, as parents, raising teenagers can feel all encompassing, tedious and over-scheduled.

So when an amazing opportunity arrived via email this summer  – electricity ran through my veins.

There it was, a chance to be in live and in-person at a 2-day HPS Core Training with the folks at Heroic Public Speaking.

They had a few open seats for a handful of students who made a donation to the The Born This Way Foundation.

Was this too good to be true – omg, yes!


But the timing was tricky and things at home weren’t awesome.

Two of my kiddos were struggling with sports related injuries, my husband was traveling a lot for business and my heart was broken and grieving the loss of friends’ son.

I felt selfish adding another “thing” to the calendar, especially because there wasn’t a “guaranteed outcome” or clear “ROI.”

But my intuition kept nudging me to stop overthinking this and just GO!

So, I negotiated with myself.

I’d only go if airline tickets were dirt cheap … and let’s be real, how often are there affordable, last-minute airline tickets?!?

Well, guess what?

Southwest was offering a $69 “wanna get away” – I laughed out loud.

Needless to say, the travel stars aligned and off I went.


With a sense of adventure and pride (and a smidgen of anxiety) I walked into the HPS HQ with high hopes.

As we sat down, I introduced myself to the lovely woman on my left

… a published and well-established author of 4 books (wow!)

I turned to my right and shook hands with a friendly looking young man

… who looked familiar because he’s been on national television (oh my!)


I suddenly felt like I was caught in the depths of the comparison trap and my confidence was rapidly fading. 

My ego made an honest attempt to ‘save face’ by reminding me that I’ve never dreamed of being on T.V. or writing a book.

Unfortunately, this “ego-driven-mind-hack” didn’t work.


The only thing I could think of in that moment was Mel Robbins 5 Second Rule.

I counted down … 5-4-3-2-1.

And, then visualized a handful of COURAGEOUS moments I’ve shared with my clients, family and friends.


Although I learned so much that weekend, I’m bummed to admit that I didn’t stand up on the stage and wow the other attendees, nor did I nail my rehearsal.

I’ve thrown around the idea of going back to HPS for a “re-do” because some days, I hear that voice saying:


She is still there … inside you … waiting … let’s go get her”

She’s ready to take the stage and let go of all comparison, fear and judgement.


So, if your teenage daughter knows deep down there’s MORE and she’s TIRED of:

  • constantly focusing on the “things” she hasn’t yet accomplished
  • “isolating” herself because she’s feeling  a sense of hopeless right now
  • riding the emotional roller coaster associated with wanting something so badly but giving up when things don’t go as planned


These 2 Simple Strategies are just waiting for her: 

1. Practice Compassionate Curiosity every day because it’ll allow you to:

  • be honest with yourself
  • grow from the life’s tough lessons
  • embrace the detours when they pop up

2. Honor the power of Baby Steps as you roll along because they’ll allow you to:

  • keep you from feeling overwhelmed
  • set goals that feel doable
  • make small, daily tweaks 


And who doesn’t want to bring out that CONFIDENT girl who’s trapped inside!

After all, it’s PROGRESS that builds momentum and gives you that “I’ve Got This” feeling.


You know your daughter best, so think of her actions and decisions as a “glimpse” or a “window” into what’s going on for her.

It can be tough to decipher if her struggles are “normal” or if you need to be “concerned.”


Remember, you don’t have to figure this out alone.

Reach out by scheduling a Discovery Session today.

Let’s help you create the holiday culture you desire for your family.


PS – If you haven’t read Steal the Show by Michael Port, you’ll want to do that now. It can help your daughter prepare for a school speech, an interview or a performance. His words will not only move you, they’ll give you a new perspective on what “performance” really means.


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Posted in: Parenting Tips