What Your Teenage Daughter Needs to Know About Her “Thought Holes” and How To Avoid Them

Is your daughter a hard worker who feels defeated and frustrated when things don’t go her way?

It can be tough when she’s TRYING HER BEST but feels like it’s not working.

Maybe it’s time to learn how to “Try Differently” and outsmart the forces that are holding her back.

Sometimes your daughter’s habits cause her to repeat certain patterns of behavior and then it becomes a vicious cycle she doesn’t know how to change.

Let’s start by introducing your daughter to 6 Thought Holes that may cause her to scale back her goals or quit altogether.

1.) Believing it’s always “All or Nothing”


I’m never the one who gets picked to lead the project

I’ll always be terrible at math

2.) “Catastrophizing” her situations


If I don’t respond to these snapchat / text messages right away, they’ll stop inviting me

If I don’t say the right thing, everyone’s going to think I’m weird

3.) “Shoulding” all over herself


I should work out for two hours everyday if I’m going to get fit

I should eat lunch with those girls because if I don’t they’ll think I’m rude

4.) Constantly “Blaming” other people when unfortunate situations arise


I got yelled at for talking but it wasn’t my fault, everyone was doing it

I couldn’t touch the wall in time to make the interval because no one will get out of my way

5.) Using “Labels” to classify herself and others


She’s so popular, I don’t know how to talk to her

We used to be friends until she started hanging out with those VSCO girls

6.) “Focusing” only on the negative


I can’t believe I didn’t get over a 90% on my science test (she’s forgotten about the 95% on her social studies quiz)

Nobody asked me how I’m doing today (even though you, mom and dad, talked to her at dinner about it)

As you can see, these thought holes can lead her down the rabbit hole and prevent your daughter from thinking rationally and seeing the big picture.

Let’s change that.

Teach your daughter how to TRY DIFFERENTLY.

Here’s an easy 2 Step Solution that can outsmart her inner critic and keep her operating system in tip-top shape:

Step 1 – Stop listening and start talking

It’s time to turn off that questioning, self-defeating voice we all have inside us and turn up the heart-centered intuitive voice by exploring …

  • What do I want to stop doing?
  • What’s something that’s holding me back?
  • What do I want to keep doing?
  • What’s something I can practice to stay focused?

Step 2 – Practice the 17-Second Rule (from author Kelly Brogan’s book, Own Your Self)

Everyone has 17-seconds to learn a new skill, right?

If you practice what Kelly calls the 17-Second Rule, you’ll learn how to avoid the 6 Thought Holes.

Here’s what you need to do …

  • Identify the crummy thought spinning in your head.
  • Now, Flip it.
  • Turn your negative thought into one that’s positive and feels better.
  • Now hold your new thought for at least 17-seconds.

Kelly suggests that this technique will make it easier for you to shift your thoughts when you’re falling into a negative head space.


That’s right, what you say to yourself can build your confidence and resilience or make you feel utterly stuck.

What’s the point of welcoming a new way of thinking?

A balanced brain full of insight and personal progress.

Now, it’s your daughter’s chance to get the results she wants.


We’d love to hear from you.

And, please share this with another parent because we’re always stronger together


Subscribe to blog (it's free) and and Discover: Is your teen daughter resilient enough for all of life's adventures?

Posted in: Your Teen's Sense of Self