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What’s the best way for your teenage daughter to hang on to her fierce emotions without losing her cool?
Welcome back to Episode #4.
Today we’re going to give you 3 simple, effective Tips that’ll help your teenage daughter keep her cool in the heat of the moment and feel really darn good about who she is.
As you probably know by now, teenage girls are undoubtedly some of the most passionate people on earth.
And it would almost be cruel to ask your daughter to water herself down because her fierce emotions are what allow her to deeply connect with the people that are most important to her.
But WHAT HAPPENS when someone she deeply cares about, someone she trusts, lies to her or about her?
Or what’s your daughter supposed to do if she feels like she’s been intentionally left out of a gathering?
This is really tough stuff for connection seeking teens.
And can leave your daughter feeling humiliated, betrayed -or worse -like she’s inhaled a bag of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.
You know that:
…glowing red face
…slight buzzing in the ears
We’ve all been there – when emotional overload strikes, and everything just shuts down.
That’s why you need a plan of action so your daughter’s frontal lobe – the voice of logic and reason – can stay activated.
3 Simple, Effective Tips
So, I’d like to invite your daughter to try one or all of these 3 simple, yet effective tips.
But first, I’m going to share a little secret with you, if she practices these TIPS with everyday situations that are less stressful
say a 3 or 4 on a 1 to 10 scale
1 being minor and 10 being off the charts
the next time she’s faced with a tough issue, she’ll know exactly what to do.
Okay, the first tip is to Start Counting.
Try counting your inhales and exhales for 90 seconds because that’s the amount of time it takes for your limbic system to recognize your emotion – then allow the chemical reaction to dissipate.
Ideally, you’ll want your exhales to last longer than your inhales, so your heart rate can synchronize with your breath.
If it’s easier, simply inhale to the count of 3 and exhale to the count of 5.
When you focus on the sensation of air moving in and out of your nose and mouth, it’ll distract your mind for a moment.
The Second Tip is to Choose a Mantra or Affirmation.
You can close your eyes or soften your gaze and simply repeat the word release over and over – out loud or quietly to yourself.
Self-help guru Brendon Burchard, author of High-Performance Habits, suggests this approach will teach you to command your body to release the tension in your shoulders, neck, face and jaw.
If you’d prefer to choose your own Mantra or Affirmation, go for it. Just be consistent and say it often.
The Third Tip is Chill out, literally.
This tip requires you to find a water source, though, many of my clients share that they often head to the restroom when they need a little break.
You’ll want to run cold water over your wrists because the cool water will help to decrease the heat building in your body.
Or, if you have access to ice, you can also squeeze a handful until it starts to hurt.
Dr. Ellen Hendrickson, the former host of The Savvy Psychologist Podcast says that squeezing ice until your hand hurts will create “a strong sensation that activates pain offset relief” so “when you finally let go of the ice, rather than returning to your pre-ice emotional state, your body will experience a short burst of intense relief.”
So, why is it so important to make your daughter’s mental and emotional health a priority?
Because it influences every aspect of her life.
How she perceives, processes, and responds to information and stimuli in her environment will have a profound impact on her happiness, her ability to adapt and her ability to develop resilience.
A few years ago, a friend gave me a book by Author of BRAVE, Margie Warrell, titled BRAVE.
I love opening it from time to time when I need a little pick-me-up.
And when I was writing this, I turned to a page that said
“daily ‘resilience building’ habits sow the seeds for lasting results.”
It’s so true.
And daily resilience habits also create muscle memory – making it easier for your daughter to recall her best strategies ON DEMAND.
If you’re looking for healthy habit building resources for your daughter, you may enjoy my popular blog article, “How to Teach Your Teenage Daughter to Discipline her Mind and Create Healthy Habits”
And I hope you’ll join us next week because we’re going to give you 3 Practical Approaches your daughter can take to turn her fears into opportunities.
Dealing with fear and uncertainty is such a hot topic right now and I want you and your daughter to have everything you need to navigate this.
The Savvy Psychologist Podcast | Former Host Dr. Ellen Hendrickson, Ph.D. | 5 Body Hacks to Instantly Calm Overwhelming Emotion | December 15, 2017
BRAVE: 50 everyday acts of courage to thrive in work, love and life by Maggie Warrell