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What’s your daughter most important asset?
Today we’re diving in a little deeper to an issue we touched on in last week’s podcast, Ep – 28 How to Break Free from Thinking Errors that Wreck Your Daughter’s Confidence.
Because, interestingly, even though your daughter may think she’s the only feeling one insecure or being left out, I promise you that no one is immune to those tricky thought errors we talked about last week.
Thought Error #5
Especially Thought Error #5, using “labels” to classify herself or others, can really be detrimental to your daughter’s growth.
So, today we’re offering a bite-sized solution to protect your daughter’s most important asset – her sense of self.
As we’ve talked about in previous episodes, developing a strong sense of self is one of the most important ways to empower your teenage daughter to build confidence, integrity and resilience for all of her adventures in life.
Think About it This Way
Because when you think about it, every single thing she says and does – her attitude, her happiness, her motivation, her relationships, her success – all revolve around how your daughter:
- sees herself
- what she thinks about herself
- and how she talks TO and ABOUT herself
So, building a solid personal foundation, or a strong sense of self, will enable her to understand critical thought habits and patterns.
As parents, you’re able to see the big picture.
Some habits and patterns are worth keeping, while others wreak havoc.
4 Steps to Cultivating a Resilient Teen
And right now, your daughter’s life is primarily influenced by, what I refer to as, the 4 Steps to Cultivating a Resilient Teen:
- her sense of self
- how meaningful her educational experiences are
- the nature of your parent / daughter connection
- And her social network – the people she surrounds herself
So, if your daughter’s life experiences and the people she’s around are throwing around labels, to classify her, or others, it’s going to influence how she sees herself and talks to and about herself.
Due to the negative emotions “labeling” brings up, we’re focusing instead on how to equip your daughter with the GRIT and GUMPTION she needs to win this war-on-words.
The Heart of the Matter
So, let’s get to the heart of the matter with two thoughtful questions:
- When you think about what promotes your daughter’s growth, what comes to mind?
- When you explore what blocks your daughter’s growth, what comes to mind?
As a parent and teen coach, it’s clear that labeling blocks growth by causing iceberg beliefs to form.
And iceberg belief is a belief that causes teens to react in a manner that’s out of proportion to their situation and inadvertently sabotage their desired outcome.
If you think about it this way, when your daughter’s frontal lobe, otherwise known as her logical thinking mind, feels threatened, it goes into survival mode (think fight, flight or freeze) and knocks her out of alignment.
And, simply put, your daughter’s thoughts, whether positive or negative, are always providing critical information to her body.
Challenge Her Iceberg Beliefs
So, one of the skills that’ll strengthen her sense of self is to pay attention to the thought, feeling, response process.
She can do this by asking herself …
- is my thought logical?
- does it promote my growth?
- or could it be harmful to my personal development?
And because your daughter is the smartest person in the room when it comes to what she needs, let’s give her a bite-sized solution to win this war-on-words.
A Bite Sized Solution
One quick caveat, “I AM” statements aren’t about trying to trick yourself into believing something you don’t.
They’re designed to lighten the load by opening your heart and mind to listen to that deep inner wisdom that’s there to guide you.
Three “I AM” statements that protect your daughter’s greatest asset – her sense of self include:
- I AM curious about what’s possible for me …
- I AM open to looking at where I’d excel if I try …
- I AM willing to explore what might happen if I consistently practice …
The secret to making your statements stick – repetition.
That’s right, repeat your “I AM” statements often.
The best part is your daughter will see that her greatest asset – her sense of self – is worth protecting.
And is totally doable.
Inspired Action to Ease Your Mind
Before we wrap up, one final thought worth mentioning is noting that developing a strong sense of self isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach.
So if you’re ready to put your mind at ease, sign up for a 90-Minute Breakthrough Session where we’ll design specific strategies that fit your daughter personality and situation.
Or visit my website, CultivatingResilientTeens.com to find out more about my 90 Days to a More Resilient Teen coaching program.
Okay, my friends, I look forward to talking with you next week.