Will She just Figure This Out?

Are you thinking …will she just figure this out?

I had an exasperated parent approach me last week desperately wanting to know, WHAT IS THE ANSWER TO ALL THIS SOCIAL MEDIA DRAMA because it’s not going away!

Even though her daughter is in high school now, the high-high’s and low-lows continue – and it’s become a constant power struggle.

Her frustration was palpable, and it makes my heart hurt because it’s a REAL problem for parents right now.

If you’re like most, the hope that your daughter WILL JUST FIGURE OUT how to deal with her social media accounts may be your only anchor.

Whether your daughter is STABLE or STRUGGLING right now, if she’s going to develop the resiliency skills she needs to manage her world, she needs to be willing to look at what’s going on in her mind.

Unfortunately, mindset management isn’t taught in school.

And, your daughter may be going about this the HARD WAY – because constantly looking at images that create uncertainty or emotional unrest is challenging – and exhausting.

So, I’m curious …

Have you noticed what happens for your daughter when a friend doesn’t respond the way she would or how she believes they should?

Does your daughter usually BELIEVE the things she hears and see’s to be true?

Does she know how to effectively work through the process of distilling facts from interpretation?

Whether she’s sharing her feelings and experiences with you – if she’s like other teens – when painful emotions start to pile up, she’s going to look for ways to block the discomfort.

You may see this in the form of:

  •  Binging on Netflix, YouTube, or video games
  • Using food for comfort, leading to weight gain
  • Oversharing on social media, looking for validation
  • Turning to substances, like vaping/juuling, marijuana, alcohol

The hard part is, your daughter doesn’t realize that she’s chasing a FEELING STATE that’s not going to come from an external source.

These distraction techniques can lead to harmful, unhealthy neuropathways (patterns) as her brain develops.

So, YES, it gets messy.

Thankfully, there are ways to prevent the highs and lows and strategies to help your daughter FIGURE IT OUT.

Here’s your challenge …

Choose one or two resources or strategies that fit your parenting style and put them into practice.

Approach this challenge as if you’re building a 100-piece puzzle.

Try looking for what’s works – those are your corners pieces.

Then, add on slowly, noticing if your approach fits, or if you’re just trying to make it work.

If you’re not sure how to put your ideas or strategies into practice – that’s where I come in.

Are you ready to enjoy the limited time you have right now, while your daughter is home?

Shoot me an email today, shawna@nullcultivatingresilientteens.com or grab a spot on my calendar

I can’t wait to watch you and your daughter create the connection and harmony you deserve.

If you’re in the Boulder/Denver area, get your ticket for the Parent Engagement Network’s 3rd Annual Stress and Anxiety Symposium on Saturday, January 26th and 27th.

On Sunday, I’ll be offering a Rapid Response Guide for Parents of Teens and Preteens because parents of teens need strategies and tools that are available and ready to go.

In this one-hour workshop I’ll teach you 3 simple go-to steps that will leave you feeling calm, confident and emotionally available for your teen.

Take a look – here are 45 different Workshops to choose from:




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Posted in: Parenting Tips, Your Teen's Sense of Self