Subscribe to the Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast
Is your teenage daughter “freaking out” about what’s next?
You’re probably noticing that spring fever is in the air, which undoubtedly signals one thing – transitions are on the horizon.
Whether it’s her transition into middle school, high school, college or beyond, you’re likely seeing any number of behavioral changes in your daughter.
Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens podcast, where you can always find the full Show Notes and resources for every podcast episode at cultivatingresilientteens.com
Although we’re being kinda playful about your daughter “freaking out” about what’s next, we know you’ve been through some tough times, and that stress and anxiety are at an all-time high for teenagers.
According to Dr. Sarah McKay, Author of The Women’s’ Brain Book: The Neuroscience of Health, Hormones and Happiness, “We all respond to stress in a variety of ways, and whether an event is a ‘stressor’ varies from person to person.”
Dr. McKay goes on to say that “We feel stressed when real or imagined pressures exceed or perceived ability to cope.”
Everything You Need
So, today we’re offering a simple Formula that will boost your daughter’s resilience by giving her what she needs to make calm, logical and confident decisions about her future.
If you’ve been listening for a while, you’ve heard us lovingly nudge your daughter to devote some quality time to developing a strong sense of self.
Because, as parents, you know that a strong sense of self will likely:
- steer your daughter away from “iffy” or “risky” social situations
- help her avoid iceberg beliefs that can sabotage relationships
- and help her create a path that promotes personal growth
And if you’re new to this podcast, you can get up to speed on these concepts by listening to these two fan-favorites when you’re finished listening today:
Okay, now … let’s imagine for a minute, that your daughter wakes up every morning READY for whatever comes her way.
Would it be worth it?
Everyone wants to bounce back from life’s challenges and detours, and we bet your daughter feels that way, too.
And, if you’re familiar with the saying that “worrying is like a rocking chair: it will give you something to do but you won’t get you anywhere.”
Simple A-B-C Formula
You probably have your pen and paper ready for the A-B-C Formula because it’s designed to boost your daughter’s resilience, stop the ruminating thoughts, and invite her to reenergize her heart and mind.
You’ll see that the three critical actions in the A-B-C Formula enable your daughter make calm, logical and confident decisions about her future – truly, the best way for her to bounce back!
A – Create a Future Avatar
What does that mean?
Have your daughter list 5 qualities that she’d like to create or share with her future self.
My clients often say they’re ready to speak up more often, seek out new friends, and try new clubs or sports.
B – Believe You’re Already There
Now that you’ve designed your Avatar, the key is to bring it to life.
Visualization or believing you’re already there is powerful.
So, practice visualizing, or seeing yourself doing those things or activities that embody the characteristics you desire and the situations you’re going to do differently.
C- Cultivate Curiosity
Think about your life as a creative journey.
You’re here to learn and grow and there aren’t any right or wrong answers.
When you approach your new adventures with a sense of curiosity your potential is limitless.
Pulling it All Together
So, if you’re hearing all sorts of “freaking out” statements or your daughter’s behavior is a bit of a riddle right now, let’s nudge her away from this hypervigilant state.
Not only because it clogs her logical thinking mind, but it feels terrible, too.
It’s easier than you may think to disrupt the chaos when you get creative with your Avatar and practice visualizing yourself doing all the things that are important to you.
And that my friends, is how your daughter can be more resilient.
Dr. Sara McKay |The Women’s’ Brain Book: The Neuroscience of Health, Hormones and Happiness |
Additional quote: “worrying is like a rocking chair: it will give you something to do but you won’t get you anywhere.” Pg. 146