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Hey Parents, does your teenage daughter doubt herself or feel like there’s something fundamentally wrong with her when things don’t work out?
It’s so easy to weave the “Ugh, what’s wrong with ME?” narrative into an emotionally triggering situation.
The Good News
The good news is, there’s an effective way for your daughter to deactivate doubt, get stronger and feel more self-confident.
Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast where you can find the full show notes at cultivatingresilientteens.com.
If you’re a visual learner like I am, you may want to take a look at the Formula we’re offering today and write the steps down on a piece of paper or the notes on your phone.
Because parents in my private coaching practice, and socially too, have shared that the social and emotional challenges that inevitably come up with the teenage years, pull heavily on their heart strings and keep them up at night.
And personally speaking, when my heart strings get pulled, I immediately want to go into mother-bear mode and defend and protect.
But, as you might imagine, that’s not always the best approach with teenagers.
In fact, while I was thinking through this episode, I was reminded of how often I wobbled and lost my perspective with some of the tough situations we’ve navigated.
And I’ll say, today’s formula has definitely helped me recalibrate and refocus, so I didn’t make the situation worse.
What’s Really Going On?
So, as we move into the summer months, whether your daughter will be part of a
- new club
OR is planning to be more of a free-range chicken and in charge of her daily activities, it’s worth taking the time to continue to learn about her developing sense of self and how to design healthy social scenarios.
Understanding how she sees herself, what she thinks about herself and how she talks to and about herself will give you the clues YOU NEED to empower her to build her confidence, integrity and resilience for all of life’s adventures.
The Figure it Out Formula
The secret in the secret formula is this – it takes you right to the heart of the matter.
And getting to the heart of the matter will help keep your daughter out of the weeds.
Today’s Figure it Out Formula goes like this … turn your left palm over so it’s facing upwards.
The 5 Steps
Step 1 – raise your thumb, this represents your mood.
Ask: Is my mood helping or hindering how I’m looking at this situation?
Step 2 – raise your pointer finger, this represents what you are focusing on.
Ask: Am I looking at the options and opportunities, or only seeing the obstacles?
Step 3 – raise your middle finger (but no need for the California howdy, lol!) this represents your thought process.
Ask: What is your primary thought at the moment? (Often times we have one thought on repeat.)
Step 4 – raise your ring finger, this finger represents love and support.
Ask: Who has my back and can help me learn and grow through this situation?
Step 5 – raise your pinky finger, this represents what’s next.
Ask: What small action can I do right now to meet my needs?
Taking Inspired Action
As you can see, the steps in The Figure it Out Formula help your daughter recognize she’s ready for more.
More confidence and more resilience by:
- Pinpointing where she’s putting her energy and focus
- Redirecting any thinking errors that wreck her confidence
- Gaining a clear perspective
By taking a heart-centered approach to developing her sense of self, your daughter can deactivate doubt.
And a clear perspective makes it easier to tackle any situation that comes her way.
Social Challenge Solved
Let’s solve your daughter’s toughest social challenge.
So, here’s what’s coming your way … a 3-Part Podcast Series.
Part One: Defining Your Ideal Tribe (because one size doesn’t fit all).
Part Two: Crafting a healthy Social Playbook (this may surprise you, though, expectations and unspoken social rules have a huge impact on your daughter’s happiness, mood and motivation).
Part Three: What to Do When …? (a supportive guide to handling life’s toughest situations with grace and ease).
Submit Today, Here’s How
Submissions are due by Sunday, June 6th.
And of course, we’ll keep your submission anonymous.
If you’re like me, submit your challenge now, before you forget, lol!
Until next time, here’s to learning and growing together.